It is a weird feeling, an extension of yourself is lying in front of you and by the time she wakes up she'll frantically look for you and cry and you have to pick her up or shove your breast in her mouth or else she'll panic and scream her tiny lungs out. That can be a beautiful sound sometimes.
So much for an introduction for motherhood. But yeah, ALL THE CLICHÉS ARE TRUE! Life changed by a hundred eighty degrees.
The love at first sight: Instantly! Of course, she was loved ever since we knew her existence but it's a whole different feeling when I actually pushed her out (the whole ordeal lasted for a few hours only, thankfully), crying out loud and held her in my arms. Emotions just rushed in, overflowing and never ends. I would literally take a bullet for her.
The sleepless night: Since day one. I can't remember the last time I had an uninterrupted sleep. Both of us sleep and slept well, but that constant urge to check on her is truly natural.(We're not co-sleeping) It's worrisome when she doesn't flinch an inch. And it's also worrisome when she's flinches too much.
The interrupted schedule: I used to have a relaxed time management, but when she's around, she's the schedule. And she doesn't tolerate. I had to stop anything I was doing whenever she demands attention.
The "All about her": Yep. It's all about her. Shopping is about her. Going out is about her. Decision to attend events are all about her. Phone gallery is all about her. Meeting people and all they ask is about her.
The messy mom: I still have my decent haircut, short, to cope with the excessive hair loss. I still have my eyebrows trimmed, once in a while. I still put on lipstick upon attending important events. I still wear my acceptable outfits. BUT, I did attend a wedding with her explosive poop splat on half my dress, which was dark, thankfully. Done shopping with her milk barf all over my shirt. Carried an extra bag for the diapers supply and change, and soon adding another bag for her feeding supply. My hair is always not right, with her pulling it. The car is no longer sweet smelling and trash-free.
To you effortlessly elegant mothers out there, you have my utmost respect.
The missing her: I haven't been away from her for more than 12hours yet, and I don't know how if I were to leave her overnight or more. Not that I have the reason to, anyway. Sometimes I miss her while I was outside doing laundry, which is crazy. Long distance working mothers are the strongest, truly I don't know how they do it.
The shopping splurge: My interest in shopping for myself has lessen drastically, however I have no control over shopping for her. Living in a faraway land from malls are not helping either since shopping can be done while you're nursing your baby. Really at the tip of your fingers. Just browsing initially, but in the end you're checking tracking numbers for your parcel. Ouch. Babies' stuffs are just.the.cutest.thing.EVER! And they doesn't come cheap. Double ouch.
The milestone: I have a lousy chart on tracking her milestones, but even the smallest accomplishment makes my day. Her first laugh, her first roll over, her first face recognition, her first semi-solid feeding, everything is just precious. I'm a proud momma.
The growing too fast: Speaking of milestone, she's 6 months old today. Feels like it was yesterday we found out we were expecting. I secretly hope she'll stay the way she is because I'm terrified, thinking how I have to deal when she turns a teenager with all that scary thing called emotion and hormone spurts.
Some say that quitting my job, leaving the corporate world and being a few thousand poorer are sacrifices stay-at-home mothers had to do, but I say, it is the sweetest and most rewarding privilege one could have. To watch and raise your child. I couldn't be happier I made this choice.
